Finding balance

I'm not sure I've ever had to find balance in so many different things before.

There's the obvious finding balance between doing school work and parenting.  There's also balance between trying to perfect things (like my lesson plans for student teaching) and getting it all done.  And then there's the personal balance where I have to decide what things are actually really important to me and what stuff should slide. 

Simply being in classes wasn't to hard.  Well - it was hard, but we figured something out.  But student teaching is adding a complexity that I wasn't expecting.  The days are long, but not in a way where I get stuff done.  I get there at 7:45 or so and help get things set up.  Demos, labs, copying, all those sorts of things that have to happen before the students arrive.  Then there are the classes (until 3:15) and of course I don't get to do any of my planning work during those times.  And then after school, there are students who want help with homework, demos to put away, marking.  I leave at 4/4:30 and come home.  And then I have to plan for the next day.  That means that there is so much less time to do everything and that's hard. 

But, week 1 is now done.  I taught 1 lesson.  That doesn't sound like much, but it was a big accomplishment.  It went well.  It was fun and exciting and terrifying.  I find it fascinating at how complicated something that's very simple can become when trying to explain it infront of a class of 28 kids.  But they were really nice and patient. 

Next week will be the big challenge.  I have to teach Physics 20 all 5 days.  So far, I have 1 lesson plan...  I've spent way too many hours on it.  I'm hoping that as I keep doing them, they get faster and easier. 

So, now I have to decide.  Do I tidy the girl's room, or do I work on lesson plans?

Wish me luck!

Exams are over and done with.  I have no more papers (although, there will still be plenty of reflections).

I start student teaching tomorrow.  I am both terrified and excited.  I'm really excited to actually get to do this.  I want to know if I like teaching.  I want to know what it's like to teach in a room with 25 kids. 

But, I'm terrified of messing up and looking stupid.  I'm starting with gravitation and satellites.  It's been a very long time since I've thought about those concepts, and an even longer time since I used the terminology and did problems.  I also have the added drawback of not getting to go through the unit from the beginning.  So I think it's going to be really hard to step into teaching the last 2 lessons and then the review for this unit.  But, that should give me some appreciation for subbing if I end up having to go that route while finding a permanent job. 

I've been spending alot of time thinking about lesson plans.  I like them.  I know that I lose my train of though alot and it is nice to have a detailed plan to go back to.  But, writing them is hard.  I also never had things like powerpoint in high school.  So I'm not really sure how to use it appropriately and where to find the balance with using them VS old school writing on the board. 

However it ends up, tomorrow is the day when I start.  Luckily the kids seem like they are nice and seemed to like me.  So I'm hoping they'll be forgiving.  And if they aren't????  Well, I guess I'll get to see how well I grasped the principles of classroom management :)

1 reflection left

I really get the point they are trying to make with the reflections.  I think I got the point after the 1st 2 or 3 (or 10).  But they keep coming. 

It's a pretty crappy feeling to finish your last exam and not even be able to go celebrate because you have to write yet another reflection.  I know that the due date for this one was pushed back, but still. 

There were 6 in my culture class, 3 in my curriculum class, ~2 in my assessment class (depends on how you count the peer assessments for the project) and 1 in my classroom management class. 

For amusement value, here is the assignment for the last one:

1) Describe your personal experience of learning to integrate language, culture, and content into your instructional practice.  The following are some questions provided to help jump start this reflection: -   - What problems did you confront?
- What enjoyment did you experience?
- What questions/frustrations/concerns are you left with?
- Did the readings and in-class discussions influence in any way your original thinking about teaching and learning?  Why or why not?
2) Describe how your view has changed (or not) over the course of this intensive learning experience, and

3) Describe some of the difficulties you envision when thinking about balancing content, culture and language instruction in your own instructional environment. [or How might your intercultural competence optimize this balancing process?]

During the process of crafting your meta-reflection, you are asked to make every possible effort to connect your personal reflection about your lived experience to the readings completed during the sessions. Whenever pertinent, make reference to a concept/big idea tackled in class and include information regarding the specific reading as well as the section of the work you are referencing.

I am supposed to answer that in 2 to 3 pages, 12 point, double spaced...   Somehow it feels like 15% of my grade in this class is being based on a long form course evaluation where there are right and wrong answers... 

It's really all I can do to not shake my head and cry. 

So close.

This is the last full week. Next week I have 1 last final on Monday, but this is the week that counts.
2 parts of a large assignment are due tomorrow. A paper (yes, yet another reflection) is due today. Then I have 2 finals on Friday. Oh, and a final crowning touch for the reflection semester is due next Tuesday. A "meta-reflection"!!!!!!! :p

I am desperately trying to get through this week. So far my grades have been good. For probably the first time in my life I have yet to get below average in anything! But that has unexpectedly increased the pressure I'm feeling. I would have thought it would take the pressure off. I would feel like I had more flexibility in my final papers and exams. Afterall, I could do poorly an still pass the class. Instead I want to keep doing well. Who knew?

Right now I'm banking on everyone else being this underwater too and that keeping the playing field even.

What have I learned about myself recently? I still have a bad attitude towards stupid assignments. But I'm now able to do them anyway. I still have the ability to really really focus with a deadline looming. But now it can be a self impose deadline. Instead of being excited about student teaching I'm nervous and feeling very daunted by the pressure and responsibility. But that's not a bad thing I think...